tim:bogus | A Man and His Blog

May 15, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Second Chances – Processing Errors in Relationships

404 and other errors online are infamous. Whether it’s the Twitter ‘fail whale’ or the Google ‘broken robot’ we’ve all encountered the online error pages. But what about the opposite? How do we translate our offline ‘errors’? Do we build something constructive or do we simply show a blank screen?

I just watched a TED conversation by Renny Gleeson who made a great correlation to personal communication and relational development: “A simple mistake can tell me what you aren’t. Or remind me why I love you”.

When you make a mistake or encounter a relational dead end – do you simply present a blank screen or do you engage the messiness of life and ~~become a better person~~ remind people who you truly are, beyond the mess?

Check out the TED talk and tell me what you think – how do you manage the messy parts of your life?

May 12, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Man Lesson – Bad Eggs

Every now and again, men need a lesson or two to round out knowledge that contain – well… – stuff that men don’t ordinarily need to know but comes in handy nonetheless.

How can you tell if eggs are good if the expiration date has come and gone? Unlike milk the telltale signs of bad eggs are less obvious but can be found by attempting to float the egg in water.

The bottom line: If it floats, it’s no good – if it sinks, scramble away.

May 10, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Actively Embracing Tension

Do you languish during seasons of tension in your life and fight back or do you embrace and engage it as a constructive, yet molding force? I’ve found the difference to be overwhelming in my life representing both seasons of contentment and frustration, depending on which I choose. It’s easy to say that there’s a temptation to languish when encountered because tension, of any type, places us in a mindset that creates conflict between the passive and active periods of change that inevitably pervade our lives. If you’re like me, you find yourself saying things like like ‘this has always worked for me before’ or ‘why should I change’ when you encounter unexpected tension and feelings fester, emotions take over, and we stay stagnant.

When we engage tension we rarely get exactly what we want, at first, but our engagement – often as some form of dialogue (whether individuals or even circumstances, such as reconciling with a friend, solving shared problems with others, encountering a foreign situation, chasing/realizing a dream, etc.) – has the ability to allow peace to take hold in our lives. The end desire of most tension resolution is some of form of balance or contentment found through interacting with, acknowledgement of, and the provision of a relational force allowing tension to change from a passive state to an active state of change.

Many of us seek balance but when I want to go through a life-changing situation I rarely want to do the hard work and seek contentment in the unknown. I’ve come to realize in the past few months that tension can be scary – it doesn’t matter if it’s relational, situational, etc. – but it can also be exciting, if you engage it, because that same tension which is scary to encounter will be the same force that brings about good and probably helps you to realize more about yourself than you would have imagined when it’s successfully engaged.

Share Your Thoughts – For you, what’s the most difficult part of engaging tension in your life?

May 3, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Non-Tech Communication Explained

Let’s be honest: technology can be fickle particularly when it comes to relationships and communication management.

From the mouth of Jimmy Kimmel – technology, Twitter in particular, has ‘completely revolutionized how we ignore our families…”. Perhaps said touch in cheek but there’s probably something legitimate in that statement.

Will technology ever cause us to forget to actually communicate with one another? Probably note but it has indeed changed how we we approach relationships. Just in case we forget the human art of talking to one another, Jimmy Kimmel presents some effective techniques in speaking with one another, transitioning from technology:

Any other suggestions on how best to communicate with one another in the event of a technology apocalypse?

March 25, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Communication As A Spiritual Responsibility

I recently shared these thoughts in one of my classes and Regent University and I wanted to repost them here to share with you.

Words and thus communication belong to each of us individuals, responsible for the action and behavior that accompanies each utterance. Gordon MacDonald, author of Ordering Your Private World, states that “men and women were originally created to desire communion with God” through conversation, dialogue, etc. should tell us that communication holds great potential to be very good but as a result of the fall it carries with it to be bad. The essence of communication is that it is meant to be good and is unable to be neutral as our hearts are unable to be neutral, that is void of feeling. Paul Tripp, in his talk War on Words at John Piper’s 2008 Desiring God conference, conveys this sentiment saying that “word problems are heart problems… [which present a problem of] organic consistency between what’s in our heart and what’s in our mouth”. There is no on or off switch to our words (our thoughts) and if we try to think our way into a different meaning there is still a good or bad qualitative nature attached to our words. This means we must continually determine whether each moment, thought, and word belongs to the ‘kingdom of self or the kingdom of God’ and apply the redemptive power God has given us to change (Tripp, 2008). In this process we heed the warning to choose ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ over the lukewarm nature of our hearts (Revelation 3:16, NIV) and be formed in His image rather than our own.

March 22, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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The Essential Human Component of Communication

“I hate people for communication purposes.” – Anonymous

This was spoken to me in jest recently and I had to pause and take note of how many times we try to find non-human workarounds in communications simply because we don’t want to deal with the ‘messy’ stuff in life. Also, sometimes we decide make unilateral communicative decisions removing the dialogue function out of communication altogether. Often times we look at the human element as interrupting or blocking our communication processes when in fact human interaction is essential to effective communication. Yes, there are times that we need to make decisions without or above the influence of others but removing the relational component of communication is dangerous and weakens the tangible results of constructive dialogue.

March 20, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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The Balance of Relationships

Every relationship has an equilibrium – sometimes seeing that is a balancing act in of itself.

Do you ever seem to problems with connecting people? Sometimes I do and I have to be honest that my first reaction is to give up on initiating the friendship. While I’m no expert, the times that I stick with it and find room for growth and common ground are the times that I grow the most relationally and spiritually. Sometimes, you have to find the diamond in the rough even when all you want is simplicity.

Are there any times you think that we shouldn’t push through in a relationship and ‘give up’ as it were because commonalities seem non-existent?

March 16, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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The NYC Trifecta Traffic Congestion

What happens when you mix bikes, cars, and pedestrians with the New York City streetscape?

Here’s your moment of Zen – NYC traffic congestion. Sadly, I wish this was all staged but as they say some most outrageous things in life just can’t be made up or in this case staged.

3-Way Street from ronconcocacola on Vimeo.

Special thanks to my friend Jason for originally sharing this with me – Follow him on Twitter or Read His Blog – you’ll thank me later.

March 16, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Discipline as an Art Form

Discipline, in the self-improvement and spiritual sense, requires change but more appropriately I believe it requires believing that things can be different.

Discipline is the mindful art of believing in a different, better self.

Yes, there is much more to discipline than this but if you do not believe that the potential exists to be better or different – if you’re satisfied with the status quo – than there is little that the act of discipline will do but to be a hindrance to your well being.

How does/has discipline formed your life in the past?

March 15, 2012
by Tim Bogus
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Retro Poetry Hour – ‘Your Spirit’

In the past I’ve shared some poetry I wrote in high school. I wrote this attempting to capture the essence of God, who he was and is to me, and how he’s with through every storm giving us what we need. I hope you enjoy -

Your Spirit
By Tim Bogus

Your Holy Spirit fills my soul
Like the juice that quenches the thirsty body.

Not half empty,
Not half full,

The amount’s just right
Like you already knew.

You are the pitcher of life
That fills every needing soul.

The mighty river runs through
The parched valley longing for life.