• ben

    Do you think we’ll ever see Wolf Blitzer? In Bedford? With dyed hair? Just for Men “Sandy Blond”? Blond, Sandy Blond, that’s the name in Washtown, Blond Blitzer, Wolf Coyote, with a look at what’s hot and what’s not in the world of politics, fer real B.!!!!! That’s B for Blond, Sandy Blond, that’s the name …?

  • ben

    Damnit, when I post a stupid post I expect an exasperated and/or condescending response. Is that too much to ask? Or am I asking for not enough? Perhaps you could include some really horrible swears against me and/or Wolf. Mostly against Wolf please.

  • Tim.Bogus

    Leave Wolf out of this, OK?

    This is about you and me…

    What did Wolf Blitzer ever do to you – anyway? That’s right, nothing – except possibly have the ability to grow a thicker, more prominent beard and ‘stache than you could ever dream of.

    So there.

  • ben

    T.J. HOLMES: … possibility she could be sent back to jail, possibility she could be sent back home. We do not know. When we get word, we will have that for you.

    BETTY NGUYEN: It has been quite a saga.

    WOLF BLITZER: Thanks very much guys.
    Happening now, the GOP presidential candidates are set to take their turn on our debate stage. Right here in New Hampshire. Also this hour, the fight to break out of the presidential pack — while underdogs have their dukes up, the frontrunners are trying to stay on the high road.

    And what do voters really want?

    I’m Wolf Blitzer in Manchester–

    LARRY KING: It’s all next on LARRY KING LIVE.

    WOLF: –New Hampshire. You’re in THE SITUATION–

    LARRY: Tonight, Paris Hilton is out of jail — after three days? Wasn’t she supposed to serve 23?

    WOLF: –ROOM.

    LARRY: So now she goes from a 12 by eight cell with a metal toilet to her mansion.

    WOLF: In this arena tonight, 10 Republican presidential candidates will hold their first debate in the lead-off primary state of New Hampshire. Now, the GOP hopefuls will show Granite State voters what they’re made of.

    LARRY: Has she really learned her lesson? Did fame give the world’s most notorious heiress a get out of jail free card? Are those mysterious medical issues in her head? Was an approaching nervous breakdown behind what some are calling a travesty of justice?

    And later, every parent’s worst nightmare — a suspect charged today with abducting and then murdering their beautiful 18-year-old daughter.

    Her only mistake — going shopping at Target.

    How can anyone protect their children from that?

    BETTY: Well, what a day it has been here in the CNN NEWSROOM.

    T.J.: Oh, my goodness.

    BETTY: I’m sitting in today for Kyra Phillips, who is off, that lucky lady.

    (LAUGHTER)

    T.J.: Yes, Betty. And Don Lemon off today as well. They are missing out on a lot of stuff today, namely Paris Hilton.

    I’m T.J. Holmes, though.

    We want to update you on what’s going on with Paris Hilton.

    LARRY: Can she have visitors sleep over, guests, any restrictions?

    WOLF: Looming large over the stage — the knowledge that one or more big name Republicans still — still may jump into this race.

    LARRY: I hate to seem dumb and stupid. How do you associate this with Paris Hilton, because she had drunk driving charges?

    WOLF: …still — still may jump into this race. Right here in the state of New Hampshire.

    LARRY: Let me get a break. We’ll be right back, guys, with more on this topic. Don’t go away.

    (COMMERCIAL BREAK) LARRY: We’re back, by the way.

    WOLF: Right here in the state of New Hampshire.