Saying No

Why is it so difficult to say no?

Why does it feel that the only thing to say is yes?

What happens when we yes, more than we should?

I’ve been thinking about these questions – in my own life – over the past few days. It’s probably the first time in my life that I’ve ‘faced the music’ that my hand is ‘in too many cookie jars’ – meaning my commitment level is much higher than the energy I can expend. I ponder these thoughts not from a selfish perspective but a perspective of mankind:

It seems that there are two settings on a human being (at least from my perspective) – we either go real slow or we go real fast – we always seems to miss that middle setting of somewhere between being active and taking time for ourselves.

From a religious/fellowship perspective – it’s kind of the same: we either devote huge amount of time to our friends and others around us – or – we stay sheltered in our ‘little bubble’.

Neither summary is very appetizing – neither one allows for growth of community.

My church has been leading a series, called Ethos, which talks about the culture around us, and more specifically within our church. We’ve gone through things such as Beauty and Growth – now we are completing a two-week series on Community. Last week we talked about the ‘bad side’ of community and tomorrow Jacob Lange, first guest blogger of, is wrapping up the series. Community is a good thing, in the right form – but sometimes it can be construed into an ugly monster…

This whole talk of community has led me to ask the following question: have I fostered or deterred community in my own life (through personal fellowship) by giving so much of my time and energy to so many things in my life and not giving a equal energy output.

The answer I get, is not the one I wanted to hear…