February 22nd, 2005

You all – I love sharing life with you, sharing my humor, thoughts, and commentary. I hope one day to have a list a mile long of the defining moments in my life that I am extremely proud of. One of those moments – that I know changed my life forever – occurred (or began) on February 22nd, 2005, during what ended up being my last winter in Indiana. I’ve been spending sometime over the last couple of years ‘documenting’ my journey, so I don’t forget the good times I’ve had and the challenges I’ve faced and (hopefully) have overcome. Enjoy this selection, a ‘rare’ treat of Bogopolis.com.

From my hands, a very different blog, a blog of personal reflection:

During that December blizzard, as I was walking home in a foot of snow with more falling fast, I remember only a single thought going through my head – “Now I can move to New York City”. Most people would think that you would logically think about it if you had seriously or loosely entertained the idea but this was not the case. This may seem as a pretty inconsequential thought but please keep in mind that, literally, I had not thought about New York City – and God’s will for me there – for almost six months…

….

There are times, I believe, that God gives us a choice to do something and we really do get to choose, and sometimes, I think, he gives us little nudges to gently remind us that he wants to us to walk one way or another. Usually – or at least more times than not – we discard these nudges and reminders as silly thoughts or ambitions throughout the course of our lives. We typically don’t recognize these moments, so let me call them what you might call them:

Delusions of Grandeur
Day Dreams
Unobtainable Goals
and the list goes on…

There are times, though, that God really wants us choose His way and when I say that I’m saying that nothing could stop him until His point is made. When this occurs the nudging is unrelentless, the reminders are as crystal clear as the jumbotron at Yankee Stadium – There are times God will not stop until we choose His way. In these situations, the alternatives are unsubstantiated and dead-ends. Personally, I’ve found that he likes to start with subtle reminders but eventually He moves onto ‘the big guns’ by using everything at His disposal to open our eyes wide open and make His vision known.

This situation has happened to me only once thus far in relatively short life, but I can unequivocally tell you that what happened in February of 2005 – a mere two months after the nudging began during that December snowstorm – was nothing short of a personal miracle that has turned my life around.

In college I was never one to go to bed late, especially so late in the evening that it’s hard to tell night-time from morning (implied exaggeration). So, needless to say, I was definitely reluctant when my best friend and roommate, Craig, invited me to a neighboring college town’s campus ministry. It wasn’t that I was reluctant to go and hang out with a different group of people, it was that I was more worried due to the fact that I full well knew that the possibilities of us getting a decent sleep that night were extremely slim. You see, I was never one of the ‘cool people’ in college – you know that person, perhaps you were one of them, who stayed up until the crack of dawn and could do just fine with a few hours of sleep each night (or perhaps not…). Ultimately, I decided to go with Craig, at the very least – I thought – I would be able to hang out with a friend and get to enjoy some cool worship.

It’s interesting how the seemingly small, inconsequential decision(s) of your life end up being some of the most pivotal turning points in your natural progress as a person in both mental and spiritual maturity. That night the campus group had a guest speaker. “Great!”, I thought with dread. Having heard a lot about this campus ministry, I was looking forward to the service with much anticipation. Realizing that more often not guest speakers lack the lust don’t bring the same flavor that is usually present within the groups This feeling of disappointment I had in the first few minutes of the service quickly faded as I realized the agenda God had laid before me for that evening.

I can’t remember many of the specifics of the service (who does, really, if there’s not a ‘handy-dandy’ three-point message – of which I could take notes – OK, I’ll try to lay off the extreme exaggeration for awhile), but I do remember the overlying theme of the evening – something that to this day, nearly three years later, still spurs me to movement in different ways: “Get off the front porch – NOW!”

That evening, the speaker talked about how Christians spend much of their time saying and thinking about what could be while sitting on their proverbial ‘front porch’ and ‘street gazing’ and not doing anything to impact the kingdom of God. He spoke of how we spend so much of our time saying we should do something when we could use that exact same amount of time to actually do something.

If an out-of-place inner voice in the middle of a
snowstorm wasn’t enough to get my attention about God’s will – this sure got my attention. I was in what I can only call a ‘spiritual shock’. There are times that we pray for God to make sense of what is going on and we ask specifically “God, what is your will for MY life?”. Most of the time we don’t get or have a direct confirmation of what God wants us do, but when we do get it in a clear cut manner, I believe it puts us in a form of shock and we’re not quite sure of what to do with it.

What can I do?

Where can I go?

How can I get off my front porch?

These thoughts and more were running through my head at lightning speed. I know I wasn’t processing everything that was coming at me properly – Thank goodness I wasn’t driving that night! However, the one thing that was crystal clear in mind was definitely the last thing I had expected that cold, February night.

Driving back with Craig – I pondered these thoughts and the new decision I had just made with God. That night, sleep was the furthest from my mind.

On that cold stretch of highway I remember thinking that there was no turning back on this now – that God was going to use everything and everybody in his arsenal to get me to New York. I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do, but to go to New York and see whatGod had in store for me.

(C) copyright 2008, Tim Bogus – a part of his un-published works of life.

  • Matt Bogus

    It’ll have been 3 years in about a week since I left Indiana myself. No longer that same man-child i was in college. Just plain man.