What do you do when you’re stuck up against a glut of dysfunctional communication? If you’re like me, your first tendency is probably to start tweaking what you’re saying in order to get a different result.
My energies become devoted to diagnosing the problem rather than fixing it, getting to a point that I lose sight of the practice of communication itself. I could get all philosophical about how things could be an ideal world but, to be honest, being mindful of the message is only one part. What I’ve realized I’m missing in those moments is something to address the character of the process .
Truth be told, we should always focus on the message but there is danger when we focus more on the message at the cost of the overall process. The overall communication process invites itself to be seen as a relationship in of itself –
Communication at its core is more dialogic and relational than it is static message giving –
Communication can get messy. It is not always clean and straightforward.
Communication can be (relationally) complicated. The process will be easy as long as those communicating are relational beings.
Communication requires patience.
Communication is a living process that has a necessary relational component to move us past the ‘simple’ task of giving a message and expecting a response.